Plastik Xmas
An original Christmas Song from David Judson ClemmonsRecorded by Chris Lastelle
The toys come in plastic
I'll never understand it
The plastic toys come in plastic
And the bands are elastic
The shiny little figures look fantastic
I hope it's enough to make my punk ass kids ecstatic
I bought em guns, you guessed it they're automatic
Beautiful world spittin' out plastic
Chokin' on crony culture capitalistic
Me I'm a fan of the old school
Call me a fanatic
Dreamin' if Icicles and Ice Hockey
I was shootin' a Hattrick
All these 40 foot containers are making me seasick
Infecting me with an eye tick
Feeding me to the matrix
Remember Dee he said we wouldn't take it
Unfunny meme they said "I gotta wait for it"
But what if I'm really not make for this
Plastic toy wrapped in plastic
Bagged in plastic my pulse is erratic
Exercise machine lost in the attic
Brand new radio dealing nothin' but static
Nothin' but static baby
Merry Capitalismas to you
Don't mistake my pessimism for love untrue
Happy hole in the sky to you
What's a poor parent to do
Merry Capitalismas, and a happy, capitalistic new year too
So I went to the store to buy me some wood
Show my kids how to roll old school
Well I couldn't believe my eyes, I'm above,
below and beside myself old friend
Well the wood comes in plastic
I'll never understand it
Chinese sweater assembled in Europa
Slaveshop holidays I hope it fits ya
Merry frickin' Christmas happy LEDs everywhere
Am I a party pooper, am I a fluffy polymer bear?
Twisty-ties hold my arms, legs and hair
Are you ready for the news?
I'm singin' the polyethelene blues
Oh we can't glue it, drill it or tape it
If it's on the wish list, then Disney makes it,
Disney makes it babe, Walt Disney makes it
For the children, we just fake it
My conscious screams, we can still save it
Oh Merry Capitalismas to you
Don't mistake my pessimism for love untrue
Happy hole in the sky
What's a poor parent to do
Merry Capitalismas, and a happy capitalistic new year too